Mar 292016

I’d once read or been told that broccoli was a hybrid of cauliflower and brussels sprouts. That made sense, in an etymological way; it looks like a portmanteau of BRussel sports and CAULIflower.

But no, according to wikipedia broccoli has been around since the 6th century, at least. Not a hybrid at all.

I remain disappointed, dreadfully so, but will soldier on somehow.

Returning to the world of DDO, broccoli has an entirely different meaning, one which has its origins in an ancient web advertising campaign (yes, DDO used to have advertising campaigns) and a legendary forum thread that grew out of the advertising.

Leading to the anniversary party inclusion of broccoli in the Party Favor reward list, in the form of Broccoli Bashers, the best-ever ozze-beaters one can earn for 80 party favors.

One of which was modeled by Brymn in Friday’s article.

But now there are two. Two Broccoli Bashers! Modeled by my premium two-weapon fighter, Mawry Haversack.

Here she shows off her broccoli goodness in a variety of poses:


Mawr Haversack, (the original Halfling Commando), posing with a pair of Broccoli Bashers


Here she shows off her broccoli goodness with a special dance:


Mawr Haversack, (the original Halfling Commando), dances with a pair of Broccoli Bashers


I like how she is able to pass one of the Bashers through her right thigh with no visible harm to either vegetable or quadricep. Perhaps she has quantum movement powers?

Double the broccoli goodness. Double the ooze-beating beauty. Or as the weapon itself says, in its terse yet thorough description:

“As everyone knows, oozes hate broccoli”

Brymn shows off Holy Broccoli

An image of Brymn featuring (seemingly) holy broccoli

Also, in Friday’s article, I opined that the broccoli seemed to have some odd Holy-like weapon aura. Except it turns out that it was not the broccoli, it was Brymn himself.

Something about his current Epic Destiny Unyielding Sentinel makes every weapon he holds Holy. Even thunder-forged, which normally has a greasy-evilly black aura, even thunder-forged weapons turn Holy and get the Holy aura.

If he swaps to Unbreakable stance, whatever he holds turns Lawful instead, and gets that nice Lawful sheen. Even broccoli.

So … not holy broccoli at all. As you can see from Mawry’s modeling above, Broccoli Bashers in their native, unaltered state have no aura at all.

Just pure, natural, organic, healthy, leafy green broccoli goodness.

Note that the word “tasty” does not appear in any sentences featuring broccoli. But that is beside the point, isn’t it?

🙂 😀 🙂

  One Response to “Twice the Broccoli Goodness”

Comments (1)
  1. Nutritious!!!

    (I personally think they are tasty.)

What do you think?

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