Jul 182016

I have a persistent person who keeps sending me ads for his business in Australia that he wants me to post on my site. For free.

This is not the first time I’ve gotten someone who wants me to feature his business on my site. But it is the most persistent. And also for the most interesting business: pinball. Which, as it happens, I love. I cannot begin to count the quarters I’ve spent on these machines over the years. I know that for a few months, my friends at work and I would play this machine every day at lunch.


Welcome to Xenon

Welcome to Xenon


“Welcome to Xenon”, she would say in a sultry-yet-recorded voice, after your quarter dropped into the coin box.

Then I grew up and acquired a house. With a game room of my own. I bought my own machine; Star Trek the Next Generation. Super high-tech, this one had all kinds of ramps and targets and sophisticated play where you advanced the game into higher-level modes. Winning a free game on a machine that you own is not the same thrill, they are all “free” once you’ve bought the thing. Fortunately this machine was hard, and tracked high scores. Making the high score became the goal. Until I had one particularly zen-like game where everything just flowed; the game slowed down and I could feel every flip and bumper. I set the all-time high on that game, so high that it was more than double the previous best, so high that I was never again able to even come close. An impossible goal.


Star Trek the Next Generation

“Engage”, says the start button


Apparently, pinball is having a moment, having somehow survived long enough that it has become cool again. Cool enough that someone in Australia is conducting a low-voltage advertising campaign that is so under-the-radar that it might even include here, a place of no renown and even less reputation. The guy who wants me to advertise his pinball store – his name is Micah, at least according to his entreaties – sends me infographics about pinball. “You will find this interesting and worthwhile” he says, “the infographic also includes some riveting facts that you and your readers will surely enjoy”.

And you know what? I do enjoy them. So much so that I am going to share them with you all.

Now remember, these are ads, and are clearly labeled as such. Also, there is no money involved, I am not being paid to show the ads, and I get nothing should you choose to click on them. This is entirely free and aboveboard, meaning it meets what tiny standards I have about these things. Because I do – much to my own surprise – have standards.

Anyway. The infographics follow. They are both from Pinball Sales Australia, which you can find here.


Someone's Opinion Of The Top 25 Pinball Machines of All Time
One Man’s Opinion Of The Top 25 Pinball Machines of All Time


Interestingly, my own Star Trek machine is one of the top 25 featured machines! But they strangely included the wrong picture.

And here’s another infographic:


Someone's Opinion of the Nine Weirdest Pinball Machines
One Man’s Opinion of the Nine Weirdest Pinball Machines


I am not sure what criteria apply here. What makes one machine “Top” while another is “Weird”? Maybe it is not about rational criteria, maybe it is about using clickbait terms to support your advertising, since these are in fact ads.

Charming ads though, even with the wrong picture and odd grammar. Charming, and about a pretty cool subject. I like them both.

I hope you enjoyed them too.

🙂 😀 🙂

  4 Responses to “The One Where Geoff Shows Pinball Ads”

Comments (4)
  1. These are pretty sweet! I mean not only the machines, but also the inforgraphics. I have never stopped loving pinball (only gave up trying to find one for a while), so to see its resurgence makes me happy. The fact that you own some machines (especially the Star Trek one) makes me all jelly in my belly!

    • Yeah, now I really kinda want to go to Geoff’s house and play pinball for a few hours. LOL

      If I find out he has Tempest or original Pac-Man, I may cry.

  2. ♪♪ Ever since I was a young boy, / I’ve played the silver ball. / From Soho down to Brighton, / I must have played them all. / But I ain’t seen nothing like him / In any amusement hall, / That deaf, dumb, and blind kid / Sure plays a mean pinball! ♪♪

    ♪♪ He stands like a statue, / Becomes part of the machine. / Feeling all the bumpers, / Always playing clean. / He plays by intuition, / The digit counters fall. / That deaf, dumb, and blind kid / Sure plays a mean pinball! ♪♪

    ♪♪ He’s a pinball wizard, there has to be a twist. / That pinball wizard’s got such a supple wrist. ♪♪

    ♪♪ ‘How do you think he does it? / (I don’t know!) / What makes him so good? ♪♪

    ♪♪ Ain’t got no distractions / Can’t hear no buzzers and bells, / Don’t see no lights a-flashin’, / Plays by sense of smell. / Always gets a replay, / Never seen him fall. / That deaf, dumb, and blind kid / Sure plays a mean pinball! ♪♪

    ♪♪ I thought I was The Bally table king, / But I just handed my pinball crown to him. ♪♪

    ♪♪ Even on my favorite table, / He can beat my best. / His disciples lead him in / And he just does the rest. / He’s got crazy flipper fingers; / Never seen him fall. / That deaf, dumb, and blind kid / Sure plays a mean pinball! ♪♪


  3. I should clarify that I do not still own ST:TNG. It went away during an unemployment cycle several years ago. Although it did prove its greatness – again – by selling for as much as I had paid for it.

What do you think?

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