Sep 172015

Imagine if you will, a bored worker, in the middle of his work day, boringly working while bored. Suddenly, a wild tweet appears:

With a yawn, our bored worker clicks over to the Lamannia forums. “Huh”, thinks he through his stultifying stupor, “I wonder what all made it into the first release?”

Update 28 preview release notes


All but overcome with ennui, he scrolls through the release notes.

Ranger pass: check.
More ranger pass: check.
New content: check.
More mucking about with the hireling AI: check.
Minor bug fixes: check.
More minor bug fixes: wait, what is this?


UI release notes


No way! Did they fix the mouse wheel bug? At last? Did they?


Fixed an issue


They did! They fixed the mouse wheel bug! OMG!


Boredom is gone, happiness is everywhere!


Jumping for joy
Jumping for joy!


There was much rejoicing
There was much rejoicing!


Now exhilarated, our formerly bored worker races to find his wife and Gamer Girl, the one who has lived through the horrors of the Mouse Wheel Bug more than anyone. “They fixed the mouse wheel bug!”


“They fixed it! They did! At last!”

Disbelief and skepticism. “I’ll believe it when I see it”, she says.

But the cynicism lasts only for a moment. Even as the formerly bored worker returns to his boring work he hears a pleased Gamer Girl: “It will be so weird to finally use my hireling folder again. Oh my god!”

Happiness, not boredom, happiness! Everywhere. The greatest release notes in the history of release notes.


Much happiness


p.s. My previous favorite release notes ever was “Cows are now oxen“. But this is way better. Way.

  9 Responses to “The Greatest Release Notes In The History Of Ever”

Comments (9)
  1. Hallelujah!!!!!! If you’re happy and you know it … CLAP YOUR HANDS!

  2. holy crap, did I roflmao when I read this post. Especially when the pics of fireworks showed up! πŸ™‚ If it is true about he mousewheel bug, I will seriously lose my [expletive deleted]! Also: Awesomeness in a handbasket (yes, I actually say this)! Have a great day, Geoff!

  3. NO WAY!!!!! Omg! How did you not crow that to us last night?!!!!!

  4. I LOL’d. I cried. But there IS much rejoicing!

  5. *scraping away the honey, the jam, the tapioca pudding. Psst! A couple of light slaps to clear the fog. “They filed you under minor.” Footsteps fade to black….

  6. Now… What’s the next bug that needs fixing?

  7. Well, I just got the mouse wheel bug πŸ™

What do you think?

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