Yes children, gather round, for today we tell the sad tale of The Mad Lute.
Once upon a time, there was a lute. Not just any lute, mind you, but a special one that could be wielded like a weapon!
Can you imagine? Playing beautiful music one moment, Kabonging the bad guys in the next! They called this lute “the Mad Lute”, maybe because it was always mad at the bad guys?
And so the Mad Lute was very loved, and many people tried to find it even though it was a rare drop that was part of a long and difficult optional quest objective.
The Mad Lute was very beautiful. Someone spent a long time making it. Unique too, one of only a handful of class-specific Named weapons in all of Eberron, and the only one with such a different and special appearance.
Once, long ago, the bard Rancyd Danzig wanted one very, very badly. And so he persuaded everyone he knew to help him, running the Weapon Shipment quest over and over (including the optional!) until finally one day, the sun came out, the sky opened, golden sunbeams came pouring down and at last, at last! The Mad Lute appeared in the optional objective chest and Rancyd was able to loot the lute.
Oh the joy! The happiness! The exultation!
Except poor Rancyd was only level 17 but the Lute was so special and so difficult to learn that you had to be level 18 to use it. And so into the bank it went, waiting for Rancyd to get to level 18.
And then the game changed, and Rancyd went into the bank too, sort of, going all but unplayed for years and years, entering Eberron only for a quest here and there, on those rare occasions where someone needed very specific level 17 crowd control. Maybe five times in seven years? Poor Rancyd, gathering dust on the shelf, while his much beloved Mad Lute sat even less used in Rancyd’s bank for Lo! all those many years.
Then one day a magical thing happened, as the game changed again, and bards learned how to Swashbuckle and fight with one weapon! Suddenly there were bards everywhere in Eberron, swashbuckling here, swashbuckling there, swashbuckling everywhere!
Even Rancyd, poor neglected Rancyd, even he made it off the shelf. And suddenly, he was level 18! Oh the joy, at long last! Rancyd ran to the bank as fast as his little halfling legs would carry him.
“Please, please,” he said to the banking-man, anxiously, “please may I have my Mad Lute?”
And then he did. After all those quests, after all that begging, after all those years, Rancyd finally, finally! had his Mad Lute.
So he took a couple of screenshots with it and put it back in his bank, never to pull it out again.
What a sad story. The poor Mad Lute, perfect but unused for all those years, and now, badly flawed but still unused. Because it is a two-handed weapon but all of the bards in Eberron now use only one-handed weapons.
All of them. Even Rancyd.
The moral of the story: now we need a Mad Flute. It would be one-handed, and hey, it even rhymes!
🙂 😀 🙂