Jan 082015

Ancient Docent of Killing Rookies
Hey look! An Ancient Docent! I should touch that thing! A lot!

I am of two minds about today’s topic. It is totally worth sharing, I get that, but on the other hand, it is also sort of a secret. A very broadly held secret, but nonetheless, a spoiler of sorts. Someone may read this and avoid making themselves the punchline to a very old DDO joke.

But we need punchlines. Nonetheless, I shall push on, trusting that anyone who reads this either already has fallen victim to the joke or is not going to, regardless, for whatever reasons. If you haven’t run this particular quest by now, why would you be running it in the future?

But I digress. You see, there is this one quest. And at the end of this one quest, the boss drops a docent. An Ancient Docent.

It is quite the singular docent; there is no other like it. For one thing, you can’t actually pick it up, you can only touch it. It stays in place, lying there on the floor, regardless of what you do to it.

It has other properties too. Even more interesting properties.

Specifically, you must touch this docent once to advance the quest. Not you specifically, but someone in your party. Touch it. Once. But once only.

If anyone else touches it, or the first toucher goes to touch it again, that person will die. Instantly and unpreventably, Deathward or not. Suddenly a soulstone. Boom. Dead.

Which is quite funny if you don’t know it is coming. And there you have the joke. “Hey”, says the veteran player, dragging a group through Prison of the Planes for the first time, “did anyone get that awesome docent?”

Ha ha hah. So funny. Except in a way it really is. My Gamer Girl likes the joke especially, but is not particularly adept at pulling it off. I guess you have to have a mean streak? All I know is that we recently introduced the quest to two new players and managed to scare them off of ever touching any docent ever. Without killing them. Something about the way we were urging them to grab the docent convinced them that they should absolutely do anything except grab the docent.

No punch line for us.

Maybe next time. Unless of course someone reads this first.

πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚

  7 Responses to “The Ancient Docent of Newbie Killing”

Comments (7)
  1. πŸ™‚ I have killed myself a few times on it, because someone else clicked a second faster than me. I’ve seen others drop too.. but I’ve never intentionally told someone to touch it for the purpose of killing them… as I don’t think that’s really funny. Ppl die enough in that quest.

  2. I’ve had a guildie pull that joke on me. I knew it killed you on re-touch – he just didn’t tell me he’d already done so when I asked and the platforms hadn’t appeared.

    He giggled for quite a while πŸ˜€

  3. Perhaps one needs an inner-rogue, or an inner-bard, to pull this off well? πŸ™‚
    (Certainly not an inner-paladin)

    This reminds me, must be time to start Shroud flagging again…
    Oh, Shroud has some good initiations too!

  4. I fell for it just like all the other “hey buddy, while you are right there do this” sort of thing. My ego is such that getting a laugh at my expense isn’t the end of the world. #CharlieHebdo #TheInterview. As the guy pulling the stunt, just keep it fun. Make sure the panicked newb gets a raise and an atta boy for the mirth. In other words, don’t be an extremist.

  5. There is evil in us all Try it you’ll like it, Geoff does…

  6. Candy Cane, Ancient Docent, Law Room…. He’s making a list and checking it twice; ways to kill a Newbie, all of them nice! Over to you sir! πŸ˜‰

  7. I remember the first time I ran through that quest and didn’t realize you would get killed if somebody touched it a second time. I eagerly ran up to it and clicked on it to find out later I was vaporized. Took me forever to realize what had happened, lol.

What do you think?

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