There are far more hit points in this picture than you can imagine
Bear with me a moment as I borrow a scene from my favorite movie:
Luke: She’s rich.
Han Solo: Rich?
Luke: Rich, powerful. Listen, if you were to rescue her, the reward would be…
Han Solo: What?
Luke: Well, more wealth than you can imagine!
Han Solo: I don’t know, I can imagine quite a bit.
Now apply all of that imagination to hit points. You probably didn’t know this, but the image forming in your head right now is the Iron Fire Bomber, an optional opponent in the quest Blown to Bits, part of the House Cannith quest pack.
This is an overall awesome quest, or as I would rate it, “awesome”, containing the unique challenge of blowing everything up. There are things to fight of course, quite a few of them, but mainly you are expected to blow things up. Real good.
Any quest that greets you with a bomb dispenser as soon as you enter is a winning quest in my book. Not to worry, there are several other bomb dispensers throughout, you will never run out of bombs.
The bombs look cool too once they are armed, sparking as they wait to explode, and make an excellent fuse-burning noise. The noise is not so loud that one cannot miss it; quite the contrary, you have to coordinate with your companions closely to avoid accidentally blowing them up too.
You: Fire in the hole!
Your companion: Where?
You: Over there! Run!
Your companion: Where?
[Ding] Your companion has died
It just never gets old.
But I digress. We are talking about the Iron Fire Bomber, who is this quest’s attempt to get even and blow up all the characters. He is a massive Iron Golem, nearly as large as Arach’s Knight, with a case of bombs strapped to his back. He thunder-punches like a Marut, but instead of stunning with his thunder punch, he deploys a bomb. The bomb will detonate in almost no time at all, doing what appears to be 2d100+1400 points of damage (which is a lot of damage!).
There are several techniques for defeating the Iron Fire Bomber, but all of them involve a lot of running away. A lot.
Backpack full of bombs
But once you’ve beaten on him awhile, or dragged him through a few Blade Barriers, or whatever your technique is, you note something unexpected: his hit point bar has barely budged if it even moved at all.
It’s discouraging. Charge in, hit him like crazy, see the numbers, you are doing pretty good damage, then look at his hit point bar again. Is it maybe one pixel smaller? Maybe?
Slowly it begins to dawn on you: how many hit points does this guy have?
If you have the patience and don’t just give up and leave – after all, there aren’t that many experience points at stake here, it is just an optional fight – but if you do stick it out, you quickly develop a routine. Flee his bomb’s blast radius. Do some damage. Repeat. Then repeat again. Then repeat some more.
It becomes a test of endurance. He has so many hit points! I can’t even estimate. Certainly well up into the thousands, maybe even hundred thousands? Criticals glance off him without visible impact. Over time you can see his bar drop, a little, but it is so little it is hard to be certain whether it is really dropping or you just trick yourself because you really want it to be dropping so badly.
At some point you are going to mis-time one of his blasts and become a soul stone. This is why the developers put shrines in the same room. They expect you to die. If you are like me, this will happen a lot: beware the repair bill.
I suspect that the Iron Fire Bomber has the most hit points of any opponent in the game. Certainly the most of anything that is not a raid boss. Even including the newer content in Menace of the Underdark. More than any dragon. More than anything.
A really, really, surprisingly large pile of hit points that has a ton of immunities and regularly deploys explosives.
What’s not to love about that?
🙂 😀 🙂