When I first started playing DDO, I didn’t know anyone. I wasn’t in a guild. It was all-PUG, all the time. Me and a bunch of strangers, racing to rack up the kills as fast as we can
And of course, Miss Adventure.
Way back then, I had no idea what I was doing. I refused to play anyone else’s build (a strange personality tic I hold to this day), meaning I had to struggle through until I’d refined one of my own well enough to avoid embarrassing myself. This was before reincarnation, before Fred the Mindflayer, even before character planners. You did what you did, and you lived with it. Or you deleted your character and started over.
Me? I started over. A lot.
And Miss Adventure was a lot of the reason why.
It was okay if I didn’t win the kill count. There was always that one guy who knew everything and had everything and killed everything. I knew I wasn’t going to compete with that guy. But there would be a second tier in the group too, a tier of players that were good enough to carry their weight. That probably wasn’t going to be a soul stone. That might get an important job in a quest or raid that had jobs. I felt like that second tier was a realistic goal.
Except no, there was Miss Adventure. Not even a real person and still out-killing me. Regularly!
It became a near-obsession. “Miss Adventure”, I would say, “I hate that bitch!. But she didn’t care, beating me, mocking me, always competing, never letting me feel good about my character and my playing skills.
“I beat you again”, she would say to me, smarmily, condescendingly, “time to re-roll your character again, noob.”
I really did hate that bitch.
Over the years there was a server merger, and later, three new servers were added. Each time, I would race to the new server and try to get a character with the name “Miss”. Or “Mis”, but preferably “Miss”. I wanted to play Miss Adventure myself! What a bad ass!
But apparently I am not the only one with the idea, at least the Miss part of the idea. I wanted Miss Adventure but who knows what last names might follow in the minds of other people? Miss Tique? Miss America?
Who knows. And regardless, no luck. A couple of times I was literally logging into the server in the first minute of its existence. Still, I was beat to the punch every time. Miss Adventure remains ever a foe, never an ally.
Amusement park test:
You must be this tall to ride
Beat Miss Adventure
Never in your face
Not the boasting kind of girl
She beats you with skills
Who has the most kills?
The fierce fighter? The sly rogue?
It’s Miss Adventure
Over time, things change, Builds improve. Quests have more monsters. We are much less likely to win a quest by luring monsters into traps than we were back in the day. No one charms anything any more. No one uses a friendly NPC to tank the other NPCs.
We don’t need those ploys any more in the lower-level quests, our relative power has expanded beyond the need for petty schemes.
On the other extreme, in high-level quests many of these tactics don’t work at all.
Our bag of dirty tricks is emptied; Miss Adventure’s teeth have dulled.
But she does not go quietly into the night. Not at all.
Ten years later and she is still out-killing me.
No, Miss Adventure, I am not going to re-roll Evangelyne. I am not! She is a perfectly fine build. Perfectly fine!
I hate that bitch.
🙂 😀 🙂