Dec 062011

Welcome to the Friend Zone

Hit me? Me? I think not.
Welcome to the Friend Zone.

But only one. What would it be?

I’ve actually thought about this. A lot! Going back to my old school PnP days, although then the question was “D&D spell” rather than “DDO spell”. What does that say about me? I mean, who wastes this much time over this many years on something this… foolish? Fantastical? Day dreamery?

I do. And thanks to the miracle of modern blog technology, I now get to share the dubious benefit of my thought processes with you as well:

Think of all the unexpected places one could get with Invisibility or Dimension Door or Teleport! I think this would have been irresistible when I was in my teens, for panty-based reasons.

Imagine the athletic and/or academic feats one could accomplish with Bulls/Bears/Cats/etc or Expeditious Retreat! I could be a Denver Bronco! Even if that would make me the most out of shape Bronco ever.

Or I could be a superhero with Web or Fly or Irresistable Dance or really any of the DPS spells: there’s no need to fear, Fireball Man is here! Hmmmm … Tactical Detonation Man might be better.

Any of the cures or remedies would put Dr. House to shame. Actually that one is pretty tempting. Cure Disease? Or better, Panacea? I would be a walking cure for cancer! Could Heal undo radiation damage? The possibilities … but no, I remain an individual that is too base of heart to use my one and only DDO spell on something so completely selfless as Heal.

I always come to the same conclusion: Charm Person. After all, we live in a world of people. Mass Charm Person would be even better.

Oh really, Mr. Boss, I am getting only a 1% raise this year? <casting> Don’t you think 3% is more appropriate for someone of my skills?

Sure Officer, here’s my license and registration <casting> I bet if you gave me a warning, I’d never speed again …

Yes Ms. Bill Collector, <casting> the check is in the mail …

No Mr. Imperial Stormtrooper <casting> these are not the droids you seek…

But I’d have to put some rules and limits on my usage of the spell, because I am after all intrinsically a good guy. Even though I didn’t take Heal.

For instance, no using the spell on dates; some things have to be earned or they are not worth having. Ditto with the wife/GF/significant other: man up and deal, no slithering out of the doghouse with the spell.

Promoting world peace, yes. Promoting myself at the expense of others, no.

But one thing is for certain:

Sorry officer
Speeding laws do not apply;
I know Charm Person

I would never get a ticket again!

🙂 😀 🙂

  3 Responses to “If I could have one DDO spell in real life”

Comments (2) Pingbacks (1)
  1. D&D spell: Fly. No question.

    DDO spell: Teleport. I gots places I wants to go! And sometimes places I wants to go away from.

  2. I dunno, with Heal/Panacea/etc… you could use this “selfless” spell to start your own religion and/or become rich!

What do you think?

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