Gear is so weird sometimes. Not just at end game when you simply must be properly equipped, but also in Heroic levels, and especially so when you are not being meticulous about what you equip. Helter-skelter equipping leads to odd and unusual situations.
We were running Stormcleave Outpost, one of my all-time favorites, and a quest that features a lot of running. A LOT of running.
Since it is gnome night, I am on my gnome Evangelyne. All is well; more than well actually, good, she has largely random gear but has acquired a dual pair of vorpal hammers. It still feels weird that I can get vorpal weapons at minimum level 8. Weirder still that they are hammers. And frankly, I was unsure as to whether the vorpal effect still works.
But they were super cheap on the auction house, and Evangelyne performs extra proficiently with light hammers. And so, vorpal hammers it is.
And by the way, yes. The vorpal effect still works, at least on creatures under 1000 hit points. Even orange-named ones. Lots of things were turning a cheerful shade of vorpal blue and suddenly dying. Very satisfying for an eighth-level rogue. Fear me monsters, for I wield vorpal hammers!
I should probably be more specific: fear me low-level monsters.
But I digress. This is not about the vorpalling, no matter how much I enjoyed it.
It seems that suddenly Evangelyne is running super slowly. She cannot keep up. The group is not only ahead of her, they are pulling away. How will I get all my kills if everything is already dead when I get there?
Oh and that explains it. Evangelyne has Speed on one of her hammers. Which she is not using, due to dual vorpals. So she can be megadeath the instakiller, or she can keep up with the group. But not both.
I opt for instakiller. On the longer runs, I swap hammers.
“Wait”, I say, “I have to swap to my running hammer”.
Yeah, that required some explanation.
But so it goes. Evanglyne is now my only character that actually has a running hammer.
The only one I have ever had.
The only one I will ever have.
A running hammer.
🙂 😀 🙁