Sep 242013
 

This is how I scroll
This Is How I Scroll

There we were, having just completed a particularly long and grueling run through Coalescence Chamber, and no one had a Dimension Door. Meaning, there was a risk that we were going to cap off that long and grueling run with an unnecessary trek through the Vale of Twilight adventure area.

But no, thinks I, I have a rogue with a stack of Greater Teleport scrolls. I’ve been saving them since my Use Magic Device skill isn’t really very good yet, I’ll only have a 25% chance to execute the scroll correctly.

But I have a stack of 22 of them, and the idea of a teleport directly back to Meridia is looking very attractive right now, 25% chance be damned.


Evangelyne is my new Acrobat. She’d been a Mechanic for years, but always knew that someday she’d put down the rogue’s toolkit and pick up the quarterstaff; it was the plan all along. Her destiny. Besides, she is based on a tabletop D&D character that is an amazing sneak-thief and staff wielder. Although that version of Evangelyne is a Gnome …

Ah but I digress. This is not about the way that DDO utterly disrespects Gnomishness. This is about Evangelyne.

Meanwhile, many, many other characters happened. And I came up with this plan where I would stall a character at every 4th level so I’d always have someone to play with the guild at any level. A good plan, but poor Evangelyne got stuck at 8th level. Then I grew another 8th level alternate and that freed up Evangelyne to level up to 12th.

But only 12th. And there she stayed. For the better part of six years.

Eventually, I realized that with True Reincarnations constantly ongoing, someone on my crew would be pretty close to any particular level at any given time, even without having specifically stalled characters. Evangelyne was free! Although she still had to contend with the fact that I have 14 other characters on this server and they all want some love.

And then came Update 19 and the enhancement redraft. Suddenly, Acrobats can use staves in a truly viable way. Suddenly, Dexterity is the new Strength.

Just as suddenly, Evangelyne is an all-new kind of rogue,Β  a stick-fighting Acrobat, and has become a build that I can’t stop playing. She’s gone from stuck at level 12 to banking level 18 in about a week. She’s Reaver ready. She’s Shroud ready. And she is so much fun to play! So! Much! Fun!


Meanwhile, back in the Coal Chamber, an unruly group agitates for it all to be over, at last, with everyone safely back in Meridia.

Evangelyne loads up her UMD as best she can: Charisma item, Spider Cult mask, The Big Top, Voice of the Master, Planar Gird-cast Greater Heroism. 25% chance of success. Something is not stacking correctly but that investigation can wait for another time.

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

“No worries”, I tell the group, “it’ll probably take four or five attempts.”

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

“Really, she’ll get this!”

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

“Does anyone have a Prayer they can cast”?

And so it goes. Failure after failure after failure. She started with a stack of 22 scrolls. Unbelievably, I find myself starting to wonder if that will be enough.

It becomes comical. I take a screenshot just because I apparently will have enough shots at the pose to get it timed perfectly (and I do – see above).

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and … No she won’t. Failure.

She’ll cast Greater Teleport and everyone will teleport to Meridia

Whoa hold on! By this point, success was so unexpected that I nearly cast again. But success it is, and we are all safely back in Meridia.

I glance at my stack of Greater Teleport scrolls: one remains. One. Out of 22. I failed at a 25% chance, twenty times in a row. Twenty!


If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.

At least in-game. Fortunately, I more than make up for it in real life.

πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚

  14 Responses to “Evangelyne Bith and the Strangely Improbable Stack of Scrolls”

Comments (14)
  1. I am firmly convinced that dice rolls are weighted in DDO, I mean that is just beyond stupid so many fails when probability says you should have succeeded at least 3-4 times or so. I guess this is the reason why people work so hard on getting “no fail” scrolls all the time to stop this from happening.

  2. This is part of the reason i love the half elf dilettante feats, no need to worry about pumping UMD… particularly useful if you’re negged & need to use a restoration/greater restoration scroll. On the few characters who do have UMD, i tend not to even bother trying if there’s anything less than 50% success chance.

  3. Playing lots of Monks, I also harrumphed at UMD and learned to really, really like Half-Elf Cleric dilettante, too. Makes a dark Monk so much more versatile. As for teleportation with a Half-Elf and a Cleric dilettante, there’s something easy to grab–Word of Recall scrolls. They take you back to the Temple of the Sovereign Host in House Deneith–close to the Marketplace, a teleporter and a guild entrance. It’s a solo trip but it’s awesome to quickly get about to rebuff, especially from the Forgotten Realms territory.

  4. Did you do the % maths yourself or just look at the tool tip? I know that the tool tip is wrong for me almost all the time. I have failed 100% chance scrolls by the tool tip. But when i do the maths it is 90% or so.

    DDo adding in bugs, so you have to deal with them.

  5. You made her surname ‘Bith’? πŸ™‚

  6. *cough* Dragonmark of passage *cough* {Not that *I* have ever, actually used a dragonmark…but if I did, it would be that one. Of course, it’s ‘cap’ is only “teleport” and it’s may not be available to halflings, but hey! other than that…}
    πŸ˜‰

  7. Even has a 95% chance to use fire shield scrolls. Was in Phase 2 of ToD solo once and failed on seven straight tries. Was NOT happy. LOL

    My UMD-addicted bard and rogue both wish Turbine would come up with some kind of bag for scrolls, because they take up a freakin’ LOT of inventory space. And I’m a packrat anyway. I think right now Dissy is down to three or four open slots; more than a full tab of that is scrolls.

  8. I contemplated upping my character slots and having a character every 2 levels … at the time it was rogues, probably still would be now. Rogues still win out over artificers for me πŸ™‚

    As for things not stacking or other amusing display bugs, I’m sure you’re quite right.

What do you think?

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