Jun 182014
 

Steel Magnolia
Ain’t she a cutie?

Thanks to everyone who submitted names for Sparksy’s cuddly new bundle of carbon-alloy joy! Some of them were particularly witty, some great puns (FerrousWheel lol), some great references (a Black Hole reference!), some that captured DDO lore (Toven’s Little Secret) and all of them were very much appreciated.

Names were submitted via the comments section of the naming article, some via the forum thread, and others via twitter. Here’s the complete list of names.

Tony
Steve
RustyBait
HotPot
FerrousWeel
CuriousForge
MisterClanks
Stove
Scuttles
ShtolnAyzern
BBRodriguez
SPAMIAM
LordWinterbottom
Hiccup
Ironpants
Bob
DangerDroid
SecurityBot
DireBot
HazardBot
DireDroid
GraveGolem
TovensLittleSecret
ClinkUnderfoot
CofFe3Cake
RecyclableRalph
Remington
RemingtonSteele
Signor Clankypants
Monseigneur Clankypants
Clutch
John
George
Wreckless
CANN
MiniMiior
Bugprey
Shorty
Rivet
Sparkplug
Ironlung
Gollum
Metalman
Hitch
MinorMalphunction
Gearbox
Toolbox
Spareparts
Mechanism
Sprocket
Bieber
Marvin
Twiki
Dorris
Nugget
Caltrop
Pyrite
Robbie McHanna
Steel Magnolia
Mr. Roboto
Garbagegut
Maximilian
Conky 2000
tiny tin

One of the things I realized while working through this is that Sparksy probably made a little steel girl. Female. Or as female as is possible with an androgynous android. She’s not pink, but (not that there is anything wrong with pink) Sparksy is not the kind that believes it must be pink to be feminine. Girls are strong! Girls wear gleaming black armor if they want! Or in this case, gleaming steel skin.

And so the list was narrowed. Bye Mr. Roboto. Bye MetalMan. Bye to all of the obviously or seemingly masculine names. Also bye to Twiki, although your name is properly androgynous, your helmet makes you look like a little walking penis. That will never do.*

* Also, Twiki is a Buck Rogers reference and Buck Rogers was a horrible, trying-too-hard, awful show that represents the very worst of 80’s television. I watched every episode anyway (I had a huge crush on Colonel Wilma Deering) but I hated myself for it. Terrible TV is terrible.Β 

Combing through the remainders, one stood out. Clever, but not too much so, easy on the tongue, and very appropriate for a little steel girl:

Magnolia

And so it shall be. Steel Magnolia, Sparksy’s lifelong companion and confidant, useless in every possibly way except for screenshots but still, completely worthwhile.
 

Clank! of tiny feet
Great big eye, tiny fingers
Steel Magnolia

 
Sparksy and Magnolia
 
Forum user Tscheuss is the one who submitted Magnolia, and therefore has the (painful) opportunity of suggesting a DDO-related blog topic and watching me butcher it. So go ahead Tscheuss, hit me with your best shot. Don’t expect anything like quality. But there will be words, probably many of them, and all about the topic of your personal choice.

And thank you, everyone, for contributing such awesome steel golem names!

πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚

  6 Responses to “And Baby Makes Three”

Comments (6)
  1. So lets say “Hello Magnolia. Welcome to Eberron!”

  2. Awwww no hiccup!

  3. Well, sure – if you’re going to hold out on providing a valuable information like “gender” (hehehe)…

    And pray, tell – what red-blooded American (or I suppose Canadian, seeing as how US TV was not the global phenomena back then) growing up in the ’80s DIDN’T have a crush on Col. Deering? (*hubba hubba*)
    πŸ˜‰

  4. My takeaway here is…you hated Buck Rogers?! Geoff, you’re crazy. πŸ™‚

  5. Considering Remington Steele was a cover identity for Laura Holt … it’s kind of a female name…
    Steel Magnolia is good too πŸ™‚

What do you think?

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