Dec 172012

Muy Caliente
Unpronounceable Name, Unmistakable Body Language

So there I was, minding my own business, running House of Death Undone, when I encountered something completely unexpected: Matron Zhibsha. I should clarify, finding a Drow Matron by itself is not all that unexpected; after all, this is a Drow house, and the quest dialog was prompting me that something involving a Matron succession drama was unfolding. So again, not unexpected per se.

But then I got close enough to actually see Matron Zhibsha.

Wow. Breathtaking. And it got me to thinking; I’ve dated women that were way worse than this.

On the negative side, she has glowing red eyes, emits a cloud of dark smoke as she walks, kills those nearby when she needs to recharge her life force, and also by the way is evil.

But I can deal with that.

Sure, she has glowing red eyes, but every girl knows how to give you the Hairy Eyeball (a.k.a. “the Stink Eye”, or “you are SO sleeping on the couch tonight”). I am good at remembering important anniversaries but bad at everything else relationship-related and believe me, I have seen my share of Hairy Eyeballs. So then, glowing red eyes would not be a deal breaker.

The dark smoke would be awkward in movie theaters and so forth, but maybe a nice pair of boots would help, and if not, there are still a few bars and restaurants with smoking areas. So again, not a deal breaker.

The killing people thing is a little more complicated, but on the other hand she has no parents, and no surviving siblings: no in-laws!

On the plus side, she probably won’t fall back in love with her ex-boyfriend, or need “personal space”, or any of that. And also on the plus side, just look at her again.

Big plus.

I suppose this is how one ends up dating a Kardashian. Dazzled by appearance into overlooking certain basic and overwhelmingly bad character flaws.

Except those Kardashians are really evil.


πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚

What do you think?

%d bloggers like this: