Dec 182012
 

Sparksy contemplates the Festivus Pole
Sparksy contemplating the Festivus Pole

With the holidays fast approaching, one’s thoughts turn to Festival. And Festivult. And especially, Festivus. What started as a horrible moment in the childhood of one of the writers on Seinfeld has become an actual world-wide event, growing in popularity each year.

It set me to wondering. What would a DDO Festivus look like?

There are four key elements:

The Festivus Pole

“No, instead, there’s a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting … It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.”

This one is easy, lots of poles in Eberron and Faerun. None Aluminum of course, so we will be lacking in the strength-to-weight ratio, but in the spirit of things the pole’s metallic nature is negotiable. Sparksy found a good one right on the opening load screen.

By the way, if you need an actual aluminum Festivus Pole of your own, you can buy one here.

The Airing of Grievances

“The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you’re gonna hear about it.”

This one is the easiest of all. Just browse the DDO forums, especially the General Discussion forum.

Be careful though, the flame and acidity content is high while optimism and civility run low. I recommend minimizing exposure if this is your first visit there, say ten minutes? You may also find it helpful to shower when you’re done reading.

The Feats of Strength

“Festivus is not over until the head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned”

Sadly, there is no DDO equivalent to match wrestling. But Feats of Strength abound! For the purposes of DDO Festivus, I am choosing the ability to snap off a Drow slave collar. It takes a lot of strength to succeed, 50 on Normal and more on Hard or Elite.

Knicker popping the collar off a destitute villager
Knicker popping the collar off a destitute villager

A Festivus Miracle

This one you have to fill in for yourself. Miracles are personal, and besides, it wouldn’t count as a miracle if had to tell you about it in advance.

I hope you’ll tell me about your DDO Festivus Miracle in the comments.
🙂 😀 🙂

What do you think?

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