Dec 152014

DDOGamer's MMOtivational Poster Contest!

In honor of the holidays (and NOT because everyone else is having a giveaway. Seriously! Well maybe a little), DDOGamer is giving away two 1550-point Turbine Point codes. That’s a total over 3000! But there’s a catch: It’s not a giveaway, its a contest. You have to submit the text for a MMOtivational poster. And not just any MMOtivation poster. No, it has to be this one:

Caption this!
Caption this!

There will be two prizes, one that is completely random – I will randomize a winner from all valid entries, and another that is completely capricious – I will choose my favorite, using arbitrary criteria that I can neither explain nor, probably, reproduce.

But with this much at stake – 3100 Turbine Points! – there has to be some rules. So …

  1. Enter by posting the text for the above MMOtivational Poster in the comments of this blog article
  2. MMOtivational poster texts can be up to 20 words
  3. You can enter as often as you like, but only one entry per email address will be counted for the random prize
  4. Only comments in this blog article will count. Forum posts and tweets will be appreciated, but ignored
  5. You can download the above image and make and submit an actual MMOtivational poster if you are artistically inclined. Just as long as I can read the text and you have posted it here then you have a valid entry. But I want to stress that no art is required. Text-only is sufficient
  6. I will pick one 1550-point winner by counting the number of valid entrants and then randomizing among them. The last time I did this I rolled dice, I like dice, but regardless, it will be as fair and as random as I can make it
  7. I will also pick another 1550-point winner by selecting which entry appeals to me the most. I will probably select the funniest, but no one knows how much bourbon will be involved; it could be anything
  8. The contest will end on the stroke of New Year 2015. You may post entries until midnight December 31, 2014

I will announce the winners here on Monday, January 5, 2015.

I am looking forward to seeing the entries!

Good luck everyone! Have fun!

p.s. If you need a few MMOtivational poster examples for inspiration, check these out! Or these!

  314 Responses to “3100-Point MMOtivational Contest”

Comments (314)
  1. Halfling Commandoes go all out for Fred’s Secret Santa gift

  2. Sometimes, being an halfling really sucks

  3. Halflings in a box……because you can never have too many halflings

  4. Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.

  5. “Six-Pack Half Pints”
    Shelled or unshelled, great for any tailgate before your raids!

  6. Need an instant party?
    Open a box of halfling commandos.

  7. Xoriat Packing: Tip #13
    Halfling Commandos travel well in padded trunks

  8. Every halfling is only 1 failed will save away from a mindflayer’s lunch box

  9. Too many people think outside the box these days.

    Thinking inside the box is the next big thing.

  10. Life is like a box of Halflings… You never know what you’re going to get

  11. Hmmm. I think we should have been more specific when we asked Turbine to make the shared bank bigger…

  12. Geez, not another box of useless hirelings.

  13. Being Tricksy
    Wait a minute.. you said this was a hot tub!

  14. Halflings be like:
    Booyah, Jackpot!

  15. One Day
    All your chests will be this big.

  16. New from the DDO Store: Adventuring Party in a Box!

  17. No chest with an open lid shall keep adventurers from slaying evil doers with determination we can achieve

  18. “Mk. Now where is ma lootz?!”

  19. So, this is player housing. I can’t say I think much of the neighbors.

  20. From Xoriat HQ:
    All your halflings are belong to us

  21. At DDO thinking out of the box is required. Better yet, don’t think at all. ~Yaulthoon

  22. COLLECT ALL FOUR!…..No purchace necessary. Void where prohibited.

  23. *purchase

  24. Guilty Pleasures
    That smell when you first open a new crate of halflings

  25. Momma always said, “DDO Updates are like a Box of Halflings. You never know what you might get!”

  26. Why are we in a box again…?

  27. Fred says, “Jackpot!”

  28. That’s it? After THAT dungeon? No, no, look harder! There MUST be more loot here!

  29. No treasure better than a good team

  30. Halflings – Mimic snacks!

  31. It’s bigger on the inside!

  32. The ultimate treasure
    is the best party

  33. Gratt’z wasn’t very popular at pot-luck gatherings, because he seldom brought enough halflings for everyone.

  34. The REAL treasure of the game…are the players!

  35. “Are you sure you lost your contact lenses in here?”

  36. Hope
    Even Pandora’s box offered a pack of heroes.

  37. Dragon: but I ordered the six piece halfling meal!

  38. As long as we’re here. No need for treasure.
    (But magical item would be good to have you know)

  39. “No, you Idiot! I said DWARVES! These will never feed fifteen ogres! Maybe we can stretch it by doing a stew instead… or maybe tacos.”

  40. If man-eating monsters ran quests… “Ok, I get the blonde, you guys can roll for the rest.”

  41. Well this is different….who was the last one awake??

  42. Quick! Let’s clean this up before the rest of the party gets here.

  43. McMimic extra value meal, comes in half sizes too.

  44. C’mon, try it! Marco! Someone say polo, it’ll be fun.

  45. A Stay at the Inn *Halfling Only Branch

  46. Mindflayer: Chest is for loot, not for halflings.

  47. Why is the gold always gone?

  48. Sometimes thinking inside the box isn’t such a bad thing.

  49. A great party of heroes is the best treasure!

  50. Rogues are always the first to get the loot, but this is just ridiculous

  51. Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure!
    But damn, not the opposite!

  52. Are you sure this is a mimic?

  53. Finally. One casket big enough for the whole party!

  54. Either they broke chest blessing, or these new xoriat quests should be mixed with alcohol…

  55. Now in the box we’ll wait and hide until his curiosity
    Entices him to look inside
    And then we’ll have him one-two-THREE!

  56. what happens when you can’t think outside the box

  57. Fuck Questing, I’m a treasure!

  58. Oh Look Groot my wife packed lunch

  59. “A Sign here reads, “Halflings for Sale! 5 bucks a halfling!”

  60. Halfing tossing kit; halfling tossers sold separately

  61. Shhh. That mind flayer will never think to look for us in this chest…

  62. Oh no, the enemy found us! “Lets wait inside the treasure chest” he said. “The ambush will work” he said.. awwwww!

  63. DAMMIT Merlinnot! This is what happens when you don’t concentrate while casting teleport!

  64. Hirelings

    Because a cardboard box just isn’t good enough.

  65. Aww look… A Halfling starter kit! Can we keep em?!

  66. W•I•N•N•I•N•G
    Finding box of halflings, need we say more?

    Is probably what the blonde halfling is thinking.

  68. Halfings are greedy, and usually the first to find out which chest is a Mimic.

  69. Man the Jester is being generous this year, I ate a cookie and got a box of halfings….

  70. Ummmmmmmmmmmm…….. Reroll.

  71. Everybody loves big chests

  72. The greatest treasure one can find: Five adventuring partners that can be trusted.

  73. And I said: “You are my precious friends”! I hope to do that next year as well.

  74. MMOTIVATION: We’ll fight that Mind Flayer AFTER we figure out how to get out of this chest.

  75. what a halfling doing there????go away friking halfling this is my looooooooottt

  76. I should not have used that wand of blunder.

  77. “Join the Army they said. See the world they said.I’d rather be looting.”


    Not even once. Seriously.

  79. ok,who farted,

  80. Great job on the chest blessing!

  81. Where are the halflings? They’re over, there, in a box.

  82. Treasure your friends. Who else can you trust to help carry the loot?

  83. da da…da da…da DA DA DA da… da da … DA DA … DA DA daaaa… da da … DA DA… DA DA DA da da…. Out POP The Halflings

  84. No adventure to easy, no treasure too big!

  85. …Yaulthoon? Are you sure your new art project is in here? Only we don’t see it….

  86. How many halflings can you fit into a chest?

  87. For all the ex-devourer veterans out there..
    “There were some errors in the Scrodinger’s Cat Sanctuary guild reunion booking.”

  88. “Does this armor make me loot fat?”

  89. Well, that’s what we get for complaining about Ghostbane lootgen.

  90. Oh, look at this! Bonus loot!

  91. Wait a minute… There’s no treasure in here…

  92. When did a Treasure Chest end up a short cut to the boss fight…. I don’t know but the boss is not liking us taking the shortcut.

  93. I’m warning you! If the lid closes with me in here with that stinking fish, I’m going BERSERK!

  94. Climb in the loots at the bottom.

  95. Looks like we came up Short again….Up for another run?

  96. “Join the army!”, they said
    “See the world!” they said…

  97. Halflings must be careful opening chests or they become the prize!

    See where that inside-the-box thinking left you?

  99. no fred ,there is nothing going on .we’re just………….questing

  100. Chest Parties: For those who get scared of the flayerman under the bed

  101. Player Characters: Its what’s for dinner.

  102. In Soviet DDO Epic Treasure loots you.

  103. Mimics!
    DDO needs them.

  104. Big chests – That’s not what I expected when I embarked

  105. wait a minute, this is not the minion starter set I ordered

  106. Fred’s Dietary Advice:
    It’s important to keep all meals balanced, like this given adventuring party!

  107. Jeets replacement storage

  108. The Guild: Literally using the guild chest as the guild chest.

    Read it. Words mean things.

  110. the best game

    sometimes it’s very random

  112. Trojan Horse. It worked for the Greeks, but it hasn’t worked since.

  113. Named Loot. When you hope that what’s in the chest will have your name on it.

  114. “Jeets, I don’t think we are in Korthos anymore”

  115. And you thought Apparatus of Kwalish was hard to manoever?

  116. No one will treasure you until you learn to treasure yourself.

  117. Halfings in a Box. Comes with a side of fries and a flagon Ale! Only 5pp! (BBQ, Honey Garlic and Xoriat flavors also available)

  118. Ever wonder who stocks all those chests?


  119. I asked if we had time to get in a rest, not… oh never mind

  120. Velah The Great Red Dragon Opens her Christmas present. A box of salted peanuts.

  121. Lets gather up! Don’t feel squishy! We can win this just get off my foot!!!!

  122. nope no portal here,,,did you even look at the map ???

  123. Honey, I almost have your lunch packed.

    Said by a dragon.

  124. What happens in the box STAYS in the box!

  125. Crazy Halfling Lady starter kit….

  126. Four half men in a dead man’s chest… you ho ho and a bottle of Vintage Sullies!!!

  127. The Mindflayer was so delighted that Santa had remembered what he wanted for Christmas.

  128. (1am)please mom ,I don’t want to go to bed,please just one more quest,,the guild is about to lvl up.pleeeaaassse

  129. Meanwhile, during the mimic autopsy….

  130. Welp, time to bring out the favor runners.

  131. take the box, It’s dangerous to go alone

  132. What happened in the box stays in the box.

  133. The greatest treasure found, is found within your team mates.

  134. Please allow me to introduce you to my friends. Walter, Bubba, Achmed…”I KILL YOU!” and Peanut… “Jeff..fa…fa! DUN-HAM-DOT-COM”

  135. Ok guys, we got the beans, which way back to the beanstalk?

  136. It’s so big! And all mine!…errr, ours!

  137. Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box”…Think about the adventure.

  138. Loot?

    Try to be faster next time.

  139. casual here smuggling some halflings for the dinner

  140. Haflings, the best gift for you love this Christmas, they can fit into any box easy for a present

  141. Chest buffing Halfling style

  142. Annnnnd whats in the box? Oh. Good. Halflings. How many shards does a reroll cost again?

  143. That awkward moment when you open a chest full of halflings…

  144. Ok, we’re agreed. Never invite Alice to bring the drinks again.

  145. Halflings: Being sold on the black market as Santa’s elves.

  146. recipe calls for twelve half-ling guess i need to make a dungeon run

  147. DM- “The real treasure was your friendship all along!”
    Player- “… I kill them and loot their bodies. What do I get?”

  148. They’re taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

  149. I told you we should have taken a left at Eveningstar!

  150. Hmm the chamelon circuit is on the fritz again!

  151. MOM, I already put my toys away.

  152. Bob, I’d like to trade for what’s behind door number 2

  153. “Alright, now empty out your inventory. It is Christmas, after all.”

  154. Lousy djinni.

    This isn’t what I wanted when I wished for a 46 inch chest.

  155. In Russia, chest raids you!

  156. I can too heal my way out of this…

  157. Update 24 – When friends are more valuable then the named items

  158. Quick, Winger, shut the chest it’s time for the Aunt Jemima Treatment.

  159. I swear that I hid that flask in here somewhere.

  160. Don’t get stuck in the box. Think outside the box!

  161. Geas

    Because a party creates more mental energy hallucinating and endlessly searching for treasure than by dying.

  162. Congratulations to which ever Lord of Madness that wins this dance contest receives a…. party of halflings!

  163. Halfling Games
    It’s so cute when they dress up like real adventurers

    And all I got was this lousy box of halflings.

  165. This is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into!

  166. Nothing adventurers like more than a big chest.

  167. DDO, as straight as 4 halfling in a chest

  168. I wished for a chest full of treasure…..damn you DM.

  169. OK!!!! Who gave the rogue a wand??

  170. So what kind of Otto’s box is this…. No Experience Stone .. just a bunch of Halflings

  171. That’s not what I had in mind when I said “treasure your party”

  172. Time to use a chest re-roll, can’t even vendor this trash!

  173. We need to start thinking outside of the box.

  174. That awkward moment when you realize you are a chest is half empty type of player.

  175. Schrödinger’S Box: For those awkward moments when you are neither alive nor dead.

  176. That awkward moment when you open the lid yelling “SURPRISE” and you’re not at your friend’s place

  177. Players, better keep them inside the box

  178. you know you DM is evil when the rouge rolls a 1 on the lock piking and your now in the box

  179. These cute little halflings are waiting for their Gandalf. Adopt a shelter halfling today !

  180. Crazy hill giants starter kit.

  181. New, pocket sized hirelings… collect the whole set.

  182. DON’T MOVE ! if you don’t move he can’t see you….(noobs last words)

  183. we’re using our I M A G I N A T I O N ,now you try squidward

  184. micromanagement,ddo style

  185. F!@$ DDO This new loot table sucks. Halfings, F-in Halflings You can’t even reroll.

  186. the moment that you realise you have been diplo-killed by the cleric in a pug

  187. Okay Fred, you really suck at rewarding too.

  188. Hey this isn’t a cookie jar! That Jester fooled us again!

  189. Sometimes opening a chest can be lifesaving

  190. Now remember…. when they open it up we jump out and attack them, right Odysseus? …….. Odysseus?

  191. Press B to invite all

  192. Pandora’s Box: Now with Delightful Halfling Sampler (and More Evil)!

  193. When one in the hand does not beat four in the box

  194. is no one going to comment on the 5th halfling?

  195. With Update 24, DDO has improved the loot drops on certain quests, as seen here. No more gems or potions, you now get HALFLINGS! But in keeping with tradition, the halfling drops have been increased, but they are not named. (Changing the difficulty of the dungeon will not improve your chances of getting a named halfing).

  196. When I asked for D&D miniatures, this isn’t what I had in mind…

  197. Team Work Makes The Dream Work

  198. I spent all my Astral Shards and this is the loot I got…

  199. Halflings in a box. Not what I asked for Christmas, but surprisingly better!

  200. Hey! These halflings are Bound to Account!

  201. The Gods help those who help themselves

  202. Keep your friends close and your plat closer

  203. ’Tis better to have looted and lost than never to have looted at all

  204. To complete your next adventure, you will need to think “outside” the box!

  205. There’s no greater treasure than a party of friends…

  206. In Soviet DDO, treasure chest loots you!

  207. Halflings – Better then a box of rocks, more fun then a barrel of monkeys

  208. I always arrive

    late for the loot time.

  209. Hireling folder overflowing? Upgrade to a Trunk Full of Halflings. Now available in the DDO store.

    All sales are final: verify package contents before leaving the store.

    You never know where you’ll end up next

  212. A trojan with halfings may be a good idea.

  213. Now I know where Odysseus got the idea of the Trojan Horse.

  214. Wow 4 new heroes, now that’s what I call a Jewel of Fortune bonus

  215. This ship is not very mobile. I think we are too heavy.

  216. MIMICS you find out that they are when it is too late

  217. My entry…

    I told you Narnia wasn’t on the other side!

  218. FRED!,it’s not nice to play with your food

  219. A behind-the scenes look at the Anti-Loot Sacrifice Brigade. Lying in wait to save Halflings from becoming loot sacrifices since 2006.

  220. On the 4th day of Christmas my true love sent to me,
    4 mini slaves
    3 magic weapons
    2 hairs of golden
    All in one huu-uge, fancy lined chest

  221. Mindflayer: “Hey, who ate the last elf? There’s only halflings left. I’m going down to Parthilcar Tower’s basement again to pick up some more adventurers. Do you guys want anything else?”

  222. Picture Composition
    Does this angle make my chest look big?

  223. Fred- Damn it…………. Reroll

  224. This is why we don’t have nice loot!

  225. It’s good to think inside the box…. It’s safer there.

    Not shown actual size. Enlarged to show detail.

  227. What’s Up Doc?
    I knew we should have turned left at the Apothecary

  228. What the Hell? I said “THINK OUT OF THE BOX” not “DRINK IN THE BOX”

  229. ALAKAZAM!
    …and four rabbits are turned into slightly larger, but much deadlier, creatures

  230. She always wondered what it would be like to have 4 Halflings in her box at the same time.

  231. Sometimes you have to think inside the box

  232. here at the mindflayer institute for integrative nutrition we encourage our students to bring there own examples for analisis

  233. we all had the feeling that jimmy wasn’t all there and with this new surveillance picture the evidence is undeniable

  234. In Soviet Xoriat, dungeon farm you!

  235. Loot Check
    Now everyone check in the corners for every last possible coin.

  236. See, this is why I said NOT threaten the lich. You never listen.

  237. yes jimmy ,we are all very impressed with your hide skill but it’s time to come out of the wall and fight the mindflayer ok..

  238. Ok,we got our Loot,now lets find the secret door so we can get the Flames out of here!!!

  239. Look jimmy! I found some dolls in this chest!

  240. whack a mole,ddo style

  241. tells mindflayer… know I’m not wearing any pantys ;D

  242. a mindflayer happy meal

  243. Because size does matter

  244. Got da loot
    dimension door!
    dd anyone?

  245. “Khorvaire Frosted Halflings.. They’re Gr-r-reat!”
    -Fred the Flayer

  246. storage wars,,,the early years

  247. Who’s stupid idea was it to look under a mindflayer’s skirt?

  248. Wait a minute…this isn’t the TARDIS!!

  249. Ok Geoff, we’ve done the maths, and the answer is four.

  250. Halflings! Loot! Halflings as loot! What’s not to love?

  251. mind flayers music box
    we represent the lollipop guild,the lollipop guild ,the lollipop guild

  252. Even Ebberon has a black market.

  253. EPIC FEAT RESPECS: Fred’s fee is four imperfect halflings.

  254. Be the Treasure.

  255. You said the Mass Teleport was safe…

  256. In North Pole Santa’s elves box the toys..
    In DDO (xoriat enhanced version) it’s the Santa’s elves that get boxed!
    (also, we call them halflings in DDO…)

  257. Normal fashion show gift: a bag full of goodies.
    Xorian fashion show gift: a chest full of halflies!

    Now also packed in stack of four.

  259. What the Hireling Folder actually looks like

  260. This isn’t what I had in mind when I selected “Quest End Rewards Based on Class…”

  261. They never expect heroes in a box…

  262. “Dude, now I know how the gold feels. Too many hands, grabbing too many things”

  263. Halflings, they’re what’s for dinner.

  264. Junior Necromancer kit, complete with four halflings (pre-killed extra). Some day you’ll animate your own giant skeletons!

  265. Betcha can’t eat just one.

  266. Gather for Greater Teledork.

  267. The poor mindflayer has been getting off his donut addiction… Some may say this is worse.

  268. diplomacy,,not just a dump stat anymore

  269. “Say hello to my little friends!!”, the Mindflayer said just before the Mind Thrust blew his head off!!

  270. Halflings
    Mastering economy travel.

  271. 395 TP worth of loot boosts and all I get is halfling vendor trash.

  272. “Good, good. They suspect nothing. Soon you will be only mine. My precious.” – the guy with an axe

  273. Halflings? I had ordered kobolds!

  274. They said ‘Think OUTSIDE the box’, you silly!

  275. Breaking News: North Korea has apparently hacked Turbine’s loot gen tables…Full story at 11

  276. This isn’t exactly what I meant when I said we needed to do some team building exercises…..

  277. I thought the ad said this was a 3-bedroom apartment.

  278. Fred – “I got 5 halflings” Charlie Brown – “I got a rock”. Fred – “….trade?”

  279. Xoriat fast food
    I specifically said, “No Redheads, I’m allergic!”

  280. Quick close the lid before we have an infestation!

  281. I think we took a wrong, left turn at Albuquerque!

  282. “Gather for Buffs!”

  283. If at first you don’t succeed… hide in a treasure box, and a stronger adventurer will rescue you on accident.

  284. “Always keep a diverse supply of hirelings in your pack at all times. You never know what you’re going to run into.”

  285. Hireling Contract Folders — Available in the DDO store now.

  286. It’s not the size of the adventurer in the fight. It’s the size of the fight in the adventurer.

  287. A “Two-and-a-halfling box” All you need for a successful quest!

  288. If you expect a party wipe, save money by fitting your casket for the whole group!

  289. Rogue Halfling: Don’t worry guys, I sense a trap…

  290. Don’t be a zerger! Or else you too will be a hermectically chest sealed mindflayer snack!

  291. Patience pays off for Bob the Mimic!

  292. DDO halfling soup includes 4 halflings boiled alive inside a mimic. -Ilithid Master Chef Fred

  293. Please keep hands and feet inside the treasure chest at all times

  294. Teamwork: Sometimes, climbing on each other is the only way out of the box.

  295. Greed: Because Your Loot is Your Loot.

  296. Initiative: Somebody’s gotta get out of the box first.

  297. Halflings: Like stepstools that can sometimes disable traps.

  298. Blame: It doesn’t matter who gets you into the trouble, it’s who you can blame for your failures.

  299. Success: When everyone has a different goal, somebody always wins!

  300. Failure: Sometimes, it really is an option!

  301. Halfling Commandos: When normal commandos are just too tall!

  302. Leadership: With dumb enough followers, you can lead a group just about anywhere!

  303. PUGS: Where nothing matters but the loot.

  304. Thank you everyone, that closes the entry period. Check back for the winners on Monday Jan 5.

    And Happy New Year!

  305. so the winners arewho

  306. Well.. don’t see any update?!
    But again.. any winners???

  307. Winners announced on Jan 5th, as promised. Check here:

    Or I could just tell you.

    TD won the random prize for:

    And all I got was this lousy box of halflings.

    Chris H won the prize for submitting my favorite entry:

    Gratt’z wasn’t very popular at pot-luck gatherings, because he seldom brought enough halflings for everyone.

What do you think?

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